Posted on September 20th, 2016
On any given day this time last year…
I am walking my daughter the two blocks to pre-school. She is taking her time, pausing to look at flowers and marvel at squirrels. I gently pull her along, saying, “Come on sweetie,” every other minute. She is right there, content in the moment. I am nowhere to be found, my mind running in a dozen different directions much like the squirrels she is watching flit from tree to tree. My breath is in my chest, my shoulders are tight, my stomach in a knot. Some part of me is aching as I watch myself half-drag my little one to school.
There has to be another way.
The feeling of hurrying stays with me throughout the day. It seems like I am always in a rush. I lose my temper and end up in tears way more frequently than I’d like. If one thing goes wrong or off schedule, I panic. It feels like there is no time for the unpredicted or spontaneous, no room for error. It is exhausting and does not feel sustainable.
I decide to be another way.
I decide to stop waiting for things to be different or easier or less busy and just do it now.
I decide to get in charge of my mind.
I decide to stop trying to be everything to everyone all the time.
I decide to protect my energy at all costs.
I decide to slow the fuck down.
Nothing really changes, except for me. And that changes everything.
I still have to get myself and an often resistant four year old ready in the morning. But I let my daughter set the pace for our daily walk to school and I stop and look when she finds a heart in the snow.
I still am running more than one business and mothering and being a wife and tending to my relationships. But instead of being up in my head about it all, I am down in my heart loving the best way I know how and trusting that that is enough.
I still only have 7 minutes to get from one school pick up to the next. But instead of speeding and swearing and tensing up my jaw, I turn up the radio and sing.
I still am holding space for so much. But instead of doing it all at once, I am being where I am in the moment.
I become more in tune with what really matters to me.
I practice staying connected to my intentions while releasing expectations.
I honor and protect the boundaries that allow me to be the best version of myself.
Now the walk to school, what used to trigger anxiety, is one of my favorite parts of the day. The fresh air, the sounds of nature, and holding my daughter’s hand ground me and help me begin my day on a peaceful note.
Same walk, different woman.
Pause and notice.
Find space and calm within the life you already have.
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