Posted on April 17th, 2014
More than one person has asked me if I’m pregnant recently. Three people on three separate occasions, to be exact.
I’m more than a few pounds over my happy, healthy weight right now and I tend to carry my extra weight in my belly.
The first time it happened I was with my older daughter getting fitted for a bridesmaid dress. She turned to me afterwards with a concerned look and said, “Mom, are you okay?” with more empathy than most teenagers can muster for their parents. The truth is it definitely stung a little but it didn’t stay with me. I know there is so much more to me than the shape of my body. Someone asking me if I’m pregnant when I’m not doesn’t impact how I feel about myself or how I treat my body.
I’ve had a long enough battle with this body of mine. And I’ve been through enough iterations of it – from a lanky teenager through two pregnancies to now – that I know buying into some thin-ideal leads to nothing but unhappiness and unhealthy behaviors. I love my body today more than I did in high school when I was 50lbs lighter. Back then I was horrified by the cellulite in my thighs and embarrassed by my small boobs. I spent countless hours and tons of energy thinking and talking about how I could change my body. Now I appreciate what my body does for me – it carries me through this amazing life! My belly has stretched to hold two healthy babies. My thighs light up when I sit back in chair pose. My arms hold a toddler on one hip while making breakfast with the other hand.
So no, I am not trying to lose weight right now. Because trying to lose weight implies dieting and somehow trying to beat my body into submission. I love my body and I love taking care of it. Part of taking care of my body is eating healthy, whole foods and moving my body as much as possible in ways that feel good for me. And I do these things with love, from a place of acceptance. I send my body kind thoughts every single day. I don’t make degrading comments about my body. No more battling for me. I refuse to fight my body or try to morph it into something it isn’t. I’ve got way more important shit to do than try to lose weight. (So do you.)