Posted on April 29th, 2014
Today was the first day I went to the gym in more than a month.
Nothing was special about today. I didn’t get enough sleep last night. I ate a late dinner. My day at work was packed. I have my period. It wasn’t an ideal day for the gym in any way. But yesterday I wrote down on my calendar that today I would go to the gym.
So I did.
I had thoughts – resistance – just like anyone else might when they’ve been away from the gym (or the mat or art class or their journal) for more than a month. When resistance pops up I remind myself, “Just show up. That is enough.” I let go of expectations and just “put my ass where my heart wants to be,” as Steven Pressfield says.
Tonight I told myself that whatever I did or didn’t do at the gym was perfect. No pressure to perform. Just the showing up was enough. I ended up kicking ass and running almost 3 miles (that’s a lot in my world) in the same time as when I was last at the gym more than a month ago. That’s cool but even if I would have walked for ten minutes and left I still would have counted it as a victory. Because I showed up.
Last Sunday I was feeling pretty pissed off at the world. I had a litany of reasons why life wasn’t fair and most people around me were jackasses. Ya know, typical PMS. My yoga buddy couldn’t make it to class that day. It would’ve been really easy to just skip and sit at home and sulk.
But I hauled myself there.
I spread my knees, sank my hips, and put my forehead to the floor.
Two minutes later my true self came on the scene. “Mind your own business,” she said. “Be responsible for your own happiness.”
Just show up. The message will come. The miracle will occur.
If you (want to) run, lace up your sneakers.
If you (want to) meditate, sit on your cushion.
If you (want to) yoga, unroll your mat.
If you (want to) write, come to the page.
If you (want to) paint, go to the canvas.
You don’t need to be a certain way.
It doesn’t have to be a perfect day.
The house doesn’t have to be clean.
Your to-do list doesn’t have to be empty.
Come as you are.
Forget about the outcome.
You have one job and one job only.
Just show up.